


Extracurricular Activities

by theprydonian_archivist



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Drug Use, Episode: TV Movie: The Enemy Within, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-02
Updated: 2008-03-02
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7198391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprydonian_archivist/pseuds/theprydonian_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koschei and Ushas chat about their mysterious classmate.  Includes drug use and mild hints at sexual activity, and references that regrettable 'big secret' from the TVM</p>
            </blockquote>





	Extracurricular Activities

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Prydonian](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Prydonian). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [The Prydonian collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theprydonian/profile).

-  
Extracurricular Activities  
-

"Koschei!" Ushas barked, "What do you make of this?"

The dark-haired student looked up. His study partner was obviously in a _mood_.

"I meant _this century_ ," she added, and Koschei reluctantly walked over to the array of complex analytical equipment Ushas had been working on.

He peered at a screen and his eyes grew wide. "That's... that's _sick!_ Ushas you should be ashamed of yourself!" A smile began to form as Koschei considered the possibilities. "To create something like this! If anyone found out, you'd be expelled for sure!" He leaned in and whispered, "How'd you do it?"

Ushas rolled her eyes dramatically. It was clear Koshei just didn't get it. "You think _I_ did this?" She chuckled cruelly. "I'm honoured that you think so highly of my abilities, but this is not my work."

"Then what...? _How...?_ "

"I just gathered the sample-"

"From where? Koschei interrupted dramatically. "Where is this unfortunate creature? Locked up in some secret laboratory, no doubt. I must see it!"

"Oh, you've seen it," Ushas said with a smirk. "It's Theta."

\---

Koschei laughed aloud. "Someone's having you on! Theta's as Gallifreyan as you or me," he lied, looking back at the screen again. "This says the subject is some kind of hybrid. A cross between a Gallifreyan and a... a Flutterwing! Now Thete's done a lot of crazy things and he does have a strange fascination with flowers, but I've never seen him fly across the campus. Have you?"

"This isn't the first time I've done this test, you know," Ushas harrumphed. The first time it showed he was a Gallifreyan/Human hybrid." Koschei's eyes widened. "I could hardly believe it myself," Ushas went on. "I was considering confronting him about it, but I decided I'd better repeat the test first. You know, in case the equipment was faulty or something. And that time it showed he was a Gallifreyan/Ogron cross!"

"Maybe your equipment is faulty."

"I checked. It's working perfectly."

"But it's saying he's a Gallifreyan/Flutterwing hybrid! And that's impossible. Ushas, someone's having a big laugh at your expense."

Ushas noted, with some annoyance, that Koschei seemed to be laughing too, but before she could comment, he'd interrupted again.

"So why this sudden interest in Theta's biodata anyway?"

"Not his full biodata," Ushas groused, "that's _classified._ " She said it like it was a dirty word. "Just his genetic material. Remember when you helped me hack into the Academy's admissions records?"

"Yesssss..."

"Well every student's genetic record is on file there. Except one."

"Theta?"

"Theta. And there's a lot of other stuff missing from his file too. I got curious."

"I see. So you-" Koschei paused, considered, and decided he really didn't want to know how Ushas got hold of a sample of Theta's genetic material.

"Ahem."

"Yes, quite. And you're sure no one could have have tampered with the sample?"

"I added several additional security measures."

Koschei was well aware of her security measures -- it had taken many tense hours to defeat them and substitute the altered DNA sample Theta had provided, and he'd had help. All in a night's work, he thought, brightening at the memory of how the night had ended. Theta had been so grateful; willing to do anything... If he played this right, Theta would be in his debt for a very long time.

"Koschei...?"

"Oh. Sorry. Just thinking through our little mystery." He stretched, catlike. "These lab benches are so hard. Can we go somewhere else to talk about this?"

"Somewhere more comfortable?" Ushas purred.

"Certainly," Koschei replied, taking her arm and guiding her to the door. "My treat."

When they were just outside the door, he remembered he'd left his datacoil in the lab. Ushas graciously disengaged her security system so he could go back and get it, never suspecting that he'd also substitute a tube of Gallifreyan/Zygon genetic material for the Gallifreyan/Flutterwing one she'd been analysing. So much easier than breaking and entering, he thought.

\---

After they'd left the laboratory, and after a fine -- and entirely too expensive, Koschei thought -- dinner, the two students found themselves in Ushas' quarters.

"So why Theta?" Koschei asked.

"I told you," Ushas replied, exhaling a stream of mildly narcotic smoke. "His data are missing from the records. He's a mystery."

Koschei decided he'd have to work at being more mysterious.

"Nobody knows anything about him, and the ones who think they do all have contradictory stories to tell," Ushas continued, the smoke making her talkative. "Where's he come from? He says he's from the Southern continent, but his voice sounds like he's from the North. None of the Houses claim him as theirs. No one will acknowledge him. Where are his Cousins? Where is... where's that pipe?" she asked, grabbing it out of Koschei's hands.

"Hey! I was just refilling that." He relit it for her.

Ushas took a long drag. "Where'd you say you got this?"

"I didn't."

Ushas glared at him.

"Okay, okay, I stole it from Theta. And before you ask, he wouldn't tell me where _he_ got it. 'S why I took it. Serves him right."

"Our mystery man," she said dreamily, prompting a glare from Koschei. "Y'know, getting information out of him is like..." she trailed off.

"Drawing blood from a stone?"

Ushas smiled. "I'd have said it's like pulling teeth, but yes. He's very secretive."

_You have no idea,_ Koschei thought.

"But you're quite close-"

_You have no idea._

"-Perhaps you could help me with this... project."

His eyes brightened. "Whatever are you thinking?"

Ushas was direct. "Get me a fresh sample," she blurted out. "I think you were right about someone having a laugh at my expense. I think it's Theta. Somehow he knows that I took that sample. He knows I've been trying to analyse it. He snuck into the lab and altered it."

"But your security system-"

"Is the best there is, and I should know because I installed it!" she snapped. "Probably take Theta all of ten minutes to crack it."

Koschei burned with jealousy. _Credit where it's due! I did almost half the work to crack that system. And it took both of us most of the night to do it!_

"Koschei...?"

"Sorry. Must be the smoke."

There was a long pause. Koschei smirked. "So what do you want me to do?" He was enjoying this.

"Get me a sample. Of Theta's genetic material."

"And how do I-"

"I don't care! You could get fingernail scrapings-"

Koschei's eyebrows rose. Did she know about the scratches on Theta's back?

Ushas blushed. "-or hairs from his hairbrush," she added quickly. "One intact follicle would be enough. Use your imagination!"

Koschei already was. And he liked what it was showing him. There was Theta, willing to do _anything_ to keep his filthy ancestry a secret, and there was Ushas, willing to do _almost anything_ to ferret it out. And there was Koschei, reaping all the benefits. He wondered how long he could keep this game going. "What's in it for me?" he said at last.

Ushas leaned close and put her arm around him. "Use your imagination," she repeated. "I'm sure there's _something_ you want."

FIN


End file.
